Bring
Lance
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Jingling Li, New Jersey, USA
I have worked with Phil now for almost eight years and he is the leader of my team. He is an extremely intelligent man who knows our business very well. He has managed many projects and as a manager he has been fair and has shown a talent for innovation. His dealings with the members of his team were always even handed and fair. I remember, when my mother had a car accident and was hospitalized that Phil sent her a beautiful bouquet of flowers even though he had never met her. He is a man of compassion.
I begin knowing more about him since his son, Lance, was born. Since Lance’s birth, Phil became a father and a family man. He put into this relationship everything he had. He is without doubt one the proudest fathers I have known. I saw Phil and Lance together a few times when Phil brought Lance to the office with him on numerous occasions and Lance was in his second heaven to be with daddy in the office. To see them together the intense love that they had for one another was obvious. Phil's love for his child lights up the room. Phil would do anything for Lance and his love for Lance is without limits or boundries. Phil has been totally devoted to Lance and has done everything in his power to make Lance happy. I believe no one in the world could give such love to Lance as Phil did. As a parent, I know love is one of the most important features in proper development of the children. The nature of the child who has received love from parents is more compassion and caring nature for the society. This is what Phil wants Lance to be.
Besides giving Lance his full love, Phil’s main thrust is education. He spent a huge amount of time and effort searching the market for new innovations that he could use to further Lance’s education and intellect. He believed that it was more important for Lance to be able to speak even before he could walk. This, as it turns out, is a proven scientific fact and children who learn to speak before they walk are more intellectually advanced than their counterparts. This he knew instinctively. He wanted to make sure that Lance was educated to the fullest extent and was always searching for suitable educational tools to achieve this objective. He has a gift for parenting and was able to use his instincts to guide him in helping Lance develop into the smart loveable child he became. He was extremely interested in watching Lance’s progress as he developed from a baby into a toddler.
I had a chance to see the progress that Lance made. One day, Phil brought Lance to the office. I had a chance with Lance sitting in my cube. He started to play with my PC. The mouse in his little hand was too big to hold, but Lance used the PC just like the little boy in the advertisement of the E*Trade on TV. Every time when I see that ad, I always picture Lance as that cute and smart boy. I have a young daughter who was a pre-teen and Phil was very interested in her education always asking me questions about the school she was attending and translating that information into a plan for Lance when he reached her age. He wanted to make sure that he was able to provide Lance with every available opportunity and in order to do that he had to educate himself so he could apply that knowledge towards Lance’s future.
It is indeed a tragedy that Lance has been so cruelly and selfishly torn away from Phil. I can just imagine the extreme hurt that Lance must feel having been separated from Phil for such a long period of time. He always waited for Phil to return after work and Phil could hardly wait to get home every day to see his son. Lance must miss his daddy desperately and I have seen the extreme hurt that has been inflicted on Phil whom he misses so indescribably much. I hope that the justice system will work and provide Phil and Lance the relief they both seek and that they will once again be together in the not too distant future.
Pat Maher, New Jersey, USA
Phil is a great parent who has tremendous love for his son, Lance. Where do I begin? How about at his desk at work - it's plastered with pictures of Lance. They were very active together, exploring Jersey City, New York City and the surrounding areas visiting museums, parks, historical points of interest, or sometimes it seemed just riding the ferry. And there was always a new picture - and a story to go along with it! To catch Phil on a Monday morning and ask the usual, "How was your weekend?" would be met with a long tale of their latest adventures.
Phil is passionate about every area of Lance's development and well-being. It's obvious how much he reads on parenting and how he works to apply concepts that he believes will help Lance's growth. Just as with the stories of their adventures, Phil loves to share his thoughts on parenting, going into specific details of how he handles situations and why and how he sees Lance responding. Phil loves science and technology and he's spent a lot of time working with Lance to introduce concepts to him in a fun way. I can't say that I've known too many other kids Lance's age that know the periodic table. Er, come to think of it - can't say that I remember much of it! But this is just one example of Lance's development as a result of Phil's efforts. Another example is that Lance is very comfortable on the computer, knowing how to browse the internet and even search on Google.
I lived overseas in India for a while and when Phil was in for two weeks on a business trip, it was evident how painful it was for him being away from Lance for two weeks. The trip could have easily stretched to three or four weeks, but there was no way Phil would be away from Lance for that long. Phil knew that my wife and I were involved with an AIDS orphanage and he wanted us to bring him for a visit. It was inspiring seeing him jump right in with all the kids - being a very big kid himself - sharing, playing, letting them take his sunglasses, his camera - all the while laughing and thoroughly enjoying himself. And of course, as we were leaving, it didn't take long before the conversation turned to how much he missed Lance and how he couldn't wait to get back home to see him.
And through this whole ordeal, Phil's primary concern has been not for himself or even to get back at his wife, it's been a constant concern about what it's doing to Lance. As Phil began to first realize that something might be amiss and the thought that his wife might possibly have taken Lance, he checked the apartment and noticed that Lance's favorite toys and favorite clothes were still there. First of all - how many fathers know what their kid's favorite toys and clothes are? But in his mind - this became some hope to him that surely his wife wouldn't take Lance and leave behind things that meant so much to him.
Then, as he realized that she had indeed kidnapped him, he kept wondering how his wife could be so oblivious to how this would impact Lance, that on top of everything else - she'd not care enough to bring some of his favorite things. And through all the pain that Phil is enduring at the hands of his wife, it would be very understandable for him to desire to get Lance away from her through any means necessary and to never allow Lance to see her again. But Phil constantly talks about Lance and what would be best for him. He's tried to act in such a way that when he does regain custody of Lance, that as much as possible - he preserves the ability for Lance to have some kind of relationship with his mother. That's love.